A Work in Progress
by Buczak
Summary: Quinn Fabray wasn't always the golden girl, but once she achieved that status, every obstacle seemed to appear in her way. From a baby to falling in love with Rachel Berry to...being transgender? AU with a Trans!Quinn.
1. Chapter 1

Fourteen years.

Quinn Fabray had been living in New Haven, Connecticut for Fourteen years. Her whole life. She would take fieldtrips to Yale with her parents and grandparents, hearing stories about where and how they met; about how her mother would tutor her father in English because a liberal arts education wasn't quite his strong suit, but he got in because he was also a legacy child.

A few months ago, her father informed the family that as soon as her older sister had graduated, they would be moving to Lima. At first, the prospect excited Quinn – how often do you get to live in another country? It wasn't until she sat down with her mother over breakfast the day before her last day of school.

Ohio.

They were moving to Ohio. What is there even in Ohio besides corn? She knew that as an architect, her father had to go where the work was, but that didn't seem to make anything better really.

And now, here she is. She dug her Yale triangle flag out of her backpack. She had purposely packed it separately in an attempt to make sure it was the first thing she unpacked. She grabbed a few thumbtacks and hung it over her desk, dead center, at eye height. This was going to be her motivation. She wanted to get back to New Haven.

The blonde reached down to grab one of her many boxes of books, setting it on top of her desk. She started to unpack them, making sure they all went onto the shelf alphabetical by last name of author, followed by series order. Ray Bradbury's _Fahrenheit 451_ was towards the left of her top shelf, and in the middle were the Da Vinci Code series by Dan Brown. She knew they were all a crock, but she couldn't help but be fascinated by them and the concept of Symbology and the history and cultural significance of it all.

About a shelf and a half lower sat _Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West, Son of a Witch, A lion among men,_ and _Out of Oz,_ by Gregory Maguire. Quinn's bookshelf and laptop were meticulously kept. Not a single book out of place, and not a file without a name and a folder. The same would be said for her bedroom once she finished unpacking. The last series of books she had to unpack were actually the books in the Harry Potter series. She considered those to be staples on every bookshelf, even in a Christian home such as hers.

Her mother and father, although religious, still encouraged Quinn to develop free thoughts, having actually bought her the books for her 8th birthday, and standing in line with her for the midnight release of all of the others that came out. It was actually some of the very few memories she had with her father. The older she got, the more he would just come home and drink.

Her bookshelf and flag were unpacked, and those were the two most important things to make this room a home, in Quinn's opinion. She then set out to find where the linens all were. After about half an hour of searching, she found the box in the kitchen. Her sheets were right on top, and so she grabbed everything she needed to make her bed. She was going to make this room a home.

A few hours later, she had successfully unpacked everything that was hers, having found a place for everything, and everything in its place. She made her way downstairs, looking over the materials her new school had sent her. McKinley High, huh? They have a cheerleading squad, a football, baseball, and basketball team…and surprisingly enough, a glee club. New Directions – did no one think about the fact that that sounds like Nude Erections? She shook her head and set the materials down.

She didn't know why she ended up at cheerleading tryouts, but she did. She ended up trying out and landed herself on the varsity team. For once, she was thankful her older sister had made her practice with her. Now, she at least knew some people before the school year started. They practiced together every day for the month before school started.

The other cheerleaders gave her the rundown. Avoid Rachel Berry at all costs. She's easy to find, look for the high school sized toddler. There is a slushy machine in the locker room – pelt Rachel twice a day with two different colors, and be sure to wait until after she had changed her clothes for round two.

The first time Quinn had to slushy Rachel, she wasn't even sure she was pelting the right girl in the face with the ice, corn syrup, and food coloring concoction. This girl was far too pretty to be Barbra Streisand. She was far too tall to be a midget. She was far too effeminate to be RuPaul. And her hands were too soft and delicate to be man hands. This girl was nothing like she had expected, but everyone else was pelting her, and Quinn wanted to stay on the team, because as screwed up as these people were, they were her only friends.

Every day in class though, Quinn found herself watching Rachel. She wondered how someone who was only about five feet tall could have legs that go on for miles. The most flabbergasting thing was the fact that Rachel made knee high socks actually seem appealing. Without warning, Quinn's notebook started to fill up with caricatures of Rachel, some more flattering than others.

One day, a pornographic picture of Rachel even made its way onto a stall in the girl's bathroom. A few days later, Quinn and Santana were fixing their make up at the mirror when Rachel walked in to fix her own make up. "What, RuPaul, getting ready for the tranny prom?" Quinn asked. This elicited a laugh from the Latina, but it hurt her a lot more than she would let anyone know that it had. Tranny wasn't a term she used. Especially not for someone like Rachel, who was so clearly feminine. The only things Rachel had done wrong were be ambitious and confident. Quinn admired her in all honesty, but couldn't ever admit that.

Quinn wished she were brave.

Growing up, Quinn wasn't a thin kid. Around 7th grade, the kids had started calling her Lucy Caboosey. She came home that night and begged her parents to start calling her by her middle name. That day, Lucille Quinn Fabray just became Quinn Fabray. She asked her sister to help her get in shape, so she put her on a diet, and helped her work out. Two years, many times of dyeing her hair blonde and a nose job later, here she was. The worst part for her was honestly, having to dye her hair. It's an image thing – Fabray's have blonde hair, and she is a Fabray. And given they had just moved, she was more than capable of running from her problems. Unlike Rachel, Rachel faced them head on.

Quinn wouldn't worry about that, not right now. She had bigger things to worry about, like the fact that Finn Hudson wanted to take her to homecoming.


	2. Chapter 2

This was not what she had planned. She had slept with Puck one time. Once. They hadn't used a condom, but he had told her that he knew what he was doing, and had yet to fail. She was drunk off of wine coolers – her way of handling all of her issues now. She was starting to take after her father, drinking to alleviate some of the stress. And what better way to try and fit in, to feel feminine, than to finally agree to lose her virginity.

She would be paying for that for the next nine months now. She stared at the stick in her hand, the two lines staring her right in the face. She threw it away and moved to the next one, but that one just said 'pregnant', which left her feeling a bit more hopeless. Two lines were easy to misinterpret; the word pregnant was significantly more difficult to misinterpret.

She wiped the tears from her eyes and put her hair up in the high ponytail that Coach Sylvester required all of her cheerleaders to wear. Regardless of how bad she felt, she had an image to maintain. She had only been head cheerleader, and by default also captain of the cheerios, for about a month and a half now. She was going to ride the wave of popularity she had for as long as she could.

A few weeks later, Finn had found her crying at her locker. Finally, she couldn't keep it from the poor boy anymore.

"I'm pregnant, Finn," she whispered, tears pouring down her face. The boy looked beyond confused; they had never had sex, so how could he possibly be the father? Luckily, Quinn had thought that through. "That one time, in the hot tub? Where you couldn't think of the mail man fast enough?" She gave him a bit of a glare. She actually had to clean the entire hot tub before her parents came home that night. It was probably the most disgusting thing she had done in her whole life this far, except maybe having sex with Puck, which was the equivalent to having had sex with half of Lima. "The doctor says that it's the perfect temperature to make the sperm swim faster or something like that."

With that, she was overcome with a bout of nausea, so she ran off to the bathroom. Of course, as she dropped to her knees in front of the toilet, none other than Rachel Berry would fall in behind her, making sure her hair was entirely out of the way, and rubbing her back. Once she finished retching, a water bottle and some Tylenol materialized next to her head, and she took them from the tan, effeminate hands without a word. She pushed past Rachel, making her way to the sink to rinse her mouth. Quinn would never speak of this to Rachel.

Somehow, though, the brunette always managed to find Quinn in that same, compromising position. One day, finally, she asked. "Quinn?" Rachel started softly, drawing lazier circles on the blonde's back. "Are you pregnant? I'm not judging; I am just asking." All Quinn could do was sob, and Rachel took her into her arms. That was more than enough of an answer for her.

Puck knew what had happened, and he had started putting the pieces together, especially with Rachel's help. The Jewish community of Lima was relatively small, so Rachel and Puck are actually cousins. Puck would never tell anyone, and Rachel didn't want to ruin his chances at popularity because of her.

"Baby Momma." Quinn whipped around, hearing the bad boy say that. She covered his mouth quickly before slapping him across the face. "Don't you dare call me that. You said you knew what you were doing!" She glared at him, tears welling up in her eyes.

"You can't let my boy take the fall for this, Quinn."

"If he were really your boy, you wouldn't have gotten me too drunk to consent, and then had sex with me, much less without a condom. I need to get STD tested every three months now because you've slept with half of Lima." Quinn started to shake with anger at this point. Yale, her future, cheerleading. It was all over. It was all gone. All because Puckasaurus Rex doesn't actually have anywhere near half of the pullout game he claims to have.

A few months later, Quinn is starting to show. Her belly doesn't fit in her normal t shirts, and Coach Sylvester had kicked her off of the squad about a month and a half prior.

Rachel told Finn what had happened, and not only had Quinn been kicked out of her own home, but she was also effectively kicked out of the Hudson home as well. It wasn't Carol's choice, but she knew it wasn't fair to Finn for her to stay anyway.

The Berry family had offered Quinn their spare room. She was more than reluctant to take them up on the offer. She had never been anything but mean to Rachel, and now Rachel was being so nice to her. Of all of the people who had been around for her first trimester, Rachel was the only one who was friendly. Quinn would almost go so far as to say they had begun to strike up a friendship. All of their teachers partnered them together for projects, as it was no secret they lived together. Rachel couldn't cook if her life depended on it, so Quinn got up and made them breakfast every morning – in return though, Rachel packed them both a lunch for school in the mean time.

Quinn was starting to enjoy the intimacy of their mornings. She would make some coffee before starting to fry some vegan pancakes. She actually had to Google how to make a pancake vegan, and it turned out that with just a little bit of extra sugar, she considered them edible as well. Rachel set the table while Quinn worked in silence, and Rachel would grab the glasses from the back of the cupboard when Quinn's belly got too big for her to actually reach there anymore.

They were starting to get so close, that Quinn didn't even feel bad asking Rachel to help her with her shoes once she could no longer see her feet. Her favorite thing was when the Berry men wouldn't pay too much attention while giving the girls their washed clothes, and Rachel would end up with Quinn's gym shirt. The brunette would never know, because she couldn't see her own back, but it made Quinn's cheeks flush a soft pink. Quinn was just thankful for the smaller girl's sake that she only wore the shirts at home, especially to sleep or to work out. It baffled Quinn how she wouldn't see the Fabray clearly across the back. Maybe the brunette just didn't care. Either way, Quinn liked her name on Rachel.

At some point during the pregnancy, Puck had convinced her to name their daughter Beth. She was almost getting to the point where anything was better than Drizzle, but Quinn felt like she shouldn't make this decision without Rachel. That night, while they were just sitting in Rachel's room talking, Rachel rolled over to talk to Quinn's stomach, and addressed her as "Baby."

"What about Beth?" Quinn offered as a suggestion for the name. "It's Puck's idea. I like it a lot, but you're just as involved in her life as I am, and certainly more so than Puck." Quinn trailed off, trying to gauge Rachel's reaction. A tear slid down her face when Rachel called the baby Beth, and she kicked. That was settled then.

Quinn didn't really know how to repay the Berry family for their kindness, so she did what she could. She was raised in a very domestic home, so Quinn knew how to cook and clean, so she provided those skills where she could. Hiram and Leroy learned eventually that she could cook, so they stopped telling Rachel to order take out, and instead would make sure there were groceries in the house for Quinn to cook with. She hated the thought of domesticity, at least for her, but she wanted to pull her weight.

Once Beth was born, Quinn's mother told her that she was leaving her father, and she wanted to right thing with Quinn. She was skeptical, so she started by just spending weekends with her mother, back in the home that had come to be her home in Lima. After a few months of that, Quinn felt comfortable enough to move back in with her mother over the summer.

That was the summer where she started to buy some men's clothes, baggy jeans, t-shirts and hoodies. She even went so far as to cut her hair. It was short and choppy - she could easily do it up or down. A beanie would make it look more masculine, but leaving it how it was would make it look just a bit more feminine. Her change of dress confused her mother, but she let it go, figuring it was just how Quinn was coping with putting her daughter up for adoption.

Rachel had also noticed the change, but it simply excited her in some way. She figured that soon enough, Quinn would sit down and have a talk with her fathers, especially if how Quinn held Rachel during their late night cuddle sessions was any indicator of things Quinn Fabray was hiding.


	3. Chapter 3

The first day of junior year, the day was already halfway over, and Quinn Fabray was nowhere to be found. Somehow, none of the teachers for the classes were worried, and she had yet to be marked absent for a class, but no one could find her.

The talk of the school, though, was the new blonde boy that spent all of his free time with Rachel. He was short for a guy, about five foot six inches, if he would stop slouching so much. His choppy blonde hair fell in his eyes, which were covered by glasses. No one could really make out what color they were; some people were saying he had green eyes, other people were reporting back to Santana that they were brown.

And Santana, she was intrigued. This boy was thin and slender. His build was slight, and he was far from muscular. He was toned though, almost too toned for a boy. And so around lunch time, she set out to intercept him.

He was walking through the halls with his messenger bag draped over his shoulder. He had a green zip up hoodie zipped halfway up his chest, a Green Lantern t-shirt underneath it. The sleeves were pushed up, because it was hot out, at least for Ohio, it was rather hot. His khaki pants were baggy enough to disguise his legs, but they were well fitting enough that they broke just over the shoe, and just below the knee. Whoever this new boy was, he knew how to dress himself.

She grabbed him by the shoulder and spun him to her, but he wouldn't look her in the eye.

"You're new here. I'm Santana," she told him with a flirty smirk on her face. "Unless you want to get to know Snix. That's definitely an option you've got, cutie." She bit her lip, looking him over. "I'm the second most popular girl in school here, in case you haven't figured out the social dynamics here." She turned to the lockers before leaning against them, pulling the boy over with her by the hand. "Though everything is pretty off today, Q isn't here. She's our head cheerleader." Santana shook her head. She didn't want to talk about Quinn with this new boy.

"Oh shit," was all Santana could say when Quinn looked up, eyes meeting Santana's. "That's why they couldn't tell me if you had green or brown eyes. Because they're hazel." She brushed the hair from Quinn's eyes. "Q, you've flown under the radar all day. How? And…what are you doing? You make a handsome boy, but you're a beautiful girl." Believe it or not, Santana actually did care about Quinn. They became best friends their freshman year on the squad, and as much as they go head to head, Santana had always felt something towards the blonde.

Quinn took a deep breath and looked around, making sure they were alone in the hallway. "It feels right," was really all she could say in her defense, shrugging. "My hair is a lot more manageable now, and no one knows what I look like when I wear these chunky things," Quinn reached up to wiggle the glasses that were perched on her nose. "Somehow, no one besides you has figured out that it's me – maybe because I've been careful not to talk." She ran a hand through her hair, pushing her bangs out of her face, and revealing her hair line in the process. It was still so far forward, and the edges were rounded and not squared. All the telltale signs she was hiding that her body is fueled by estrogen came to the forefront as she stood there with Santana.

Rachel came out of nowhere, wrapping an arm through Quinn's and waving at Santana. "Hey, Santana, I see you've met our new kid," Rachel gave Santana a dazzling smile, a blush staining her cheeks as she glanced up at Quinn.

"You can cut the act, Berry. I already figured out that it's Q. I'm just shocked she managed to hide it from us for so long. People can't figure out if our new boy has brown or green eyes." She looked up at Quinn with a smirk. "You clean up nicely, Fabray."

Rachel nodded, pulling back from Quinn to readjust her hoodies strings. "I helped pick the outfit. Anything green looks great on Quinn, and tan pants go great with green shirts." Rachel looked up at Quinn and smiled, and all Quinn could do was grin back and duck her head.

"I just like to be comfortable, and for me this is comfortable right now. I know I have to change into my uniform for practice, but that's not for a couple more hours…" Quinn trailed off, looking at her feet. She wasn't looking forward to returning to the Cheerios, where they would do nothing but objectify her, and where she would be forced to wear the skirt, spanks, and that restricting shirt.

"The one question I still have for you, Q," Santana said, looking at the blonde with curiosity, "is how you managed to go through all of your classes so far today without a single absence. You haven't responded to your name during role call not once." She squinted her eyes at the blonde, hoping the answer to this would be as juicy as everything else she had found out so far.

All Quinn could do was laugh for a good minute before answering Santana's question. "No one realized that for a new kid, I knew my way around here awfully well. I just went to class early, told the teacher I was here but didn't feel well." She shrugged, pushing her messenger bag back up on her shoulder. "Are we done with the Spanish Inquisition now? Because Rachel and I were going to go have lunch in the auditorium." Quinn gestured over her shoulder towards the auditorium, backing that way before turning around to head there, pulling Rachel with by the hand.

That night, Quinn got a text message from Santana, more a proposition than a question.

And the next day, she walked into the school, dressed similar to how she was yesterday. She was wearing a flannel shirt and some jeans that fit her nicely, but still disguised how curvy her legs were. She had a t shirt under the flannel, and had buttoned it halfway up her chest; she was trying to obstruct any possible signs that she didn't actually have a flat chest. The only thing that was really so different today was that she walked into school hand in hand with Santana.

They had come to a sort of agreement between the two of them – Quinn was the handsome new "boy" at school. This gave Santana a popularity boost and also added to the mystery surrounding Quinn currently. The part of their deal that they didn't discuss was that Santana would be dating a girl through the course of this all. She could experiment with her sexuality, while at the same time maintaining her image in the public sphere. Quinn's end of the deal was that she got to be a guy, and more importantly, someone's boyfriend, at least in the public eye. This was a test run for her coming out. She got to see if she was truly comfortable in her own skin this way, all while everyone else was using the pronouns she wanted to try. She honestly felt like she got a far better end of the deal, not that she would ever tell Santana why she was dating her. On that note though, Santana would never tell Quinn why she proposed the idea either, except the concept of the popularity boost.

While walking up the hall together, every head turned to face them. Quinn only dropped Santana's hand when she heard a yelp.

She ran over to Rachel, picking the book up off of the brunette's foot, handing it to her. "Careful," she said quietly, meeting Rachel's eye with a soft smile. Her smile fell, however, when Rachel pushed her away, mumbling the Latina's name repeatedly before walking to her first class. Quinn would have to be sure to ask her about that at lunch.


	4. Chapter 4

Once lunch time came around, Quinn made her way to the auditorium, digging out her lunch as she sat on the edge of the stage, kicking her feet back and forth to occupy herself while she waited for Rachel to come.

"Lucas Quinn Fabray."

Quinn snapped her head around, smiling a little when she saw Rachel. "It's just Quinn." She gave her a wink and patted the spot next to her. "What was with mumbling Santana's name as you walked away?"

"What was with me mumbling her name?" Rachel asked Quinn in disbelief, shaking her head as she sat down. "More like what's with you coming in holding her hand. What, are you two a couple or something now?" Rachel was trying to hide her disappointment and hurt, but she wasn't doing too good of a job at doing that.

Rachel had always thought Quinn was absolutely stunning, and she figured the blonde really only was bullying her because she had to. Her suspicions were only confirmed when Quinn took her fall from grace with the pregnancy, and automatically stopped bullying Rachel. They had actually struck up a friendship, and between their intimate mornings, late nights, and everything in between, Rachel had fallen in love with Quinn. She had thought that the blonde felt something for her too, especially with everything that happened with Beth and how she wouldn't even choose a name for her daughter without consulting Rachel. She had to have been mistaken.

"…and so that's how Santana and I ended up together." Quinn had been speaking the whole time, but Rachel was so lost in her own thoughts.

"We're best friends, right?" Rachel asked Quinn, a bit uncertain.

"Of course. There is no one I trust more than you and your fathers." Quinn said softly, with a nod as she took Rachel's hand.

"Then why didn't you tell me? Why did I have to find out by seeing you holding her hand?" A tear shone in her eye, and she wiped it away quickly. Quinn, on the other hand, was dumbfounded. "I didn't really think it mattered who I date, Rachel." She ducked her head, her cheeks turning a bright red. For some reason, she was extremely embarrassed by this whole turn of events.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I'm just…trying something new, I guess. If I'm being honest, with both you and myself, it's letting me try out something that I don't know how to try otherwise." Quinn swallowed thickly, sitting in silence. She pulled up her t shirt, showing Rachel that she had wrapped her chest with ace bandages. "I'm giving this a try," she said quietly, only hoping that Rachel could understand the underlying message in what she was saying.

"You always say sexuality is fluid…maybe gender is too." Quinn put her shirt down, before licking her lips. "It's an ends to a mean. I don't really like Santana, but I am able to give this a try with her, all while hiding who I am. Or was. Or will be." She ran a hand through her hair, a bit overwhelmed.

"Why aren't you saying anything? You always have something to say." Quinn was uneasy at Rachel's silence.

Rachel reached up and took Quinn's hands in her own, looking the blonde in the eye. "That may be true. But one thing you have taught me is that sometimes, the right thing to say is to listen. But one thing that we absolutely must change is that you need a better binder. That is entirely unsafe." Rachel reached a hand up, touching the side of Quinn's rib cage. "Can you even breathe? You certainly couldn't sing that way." Rachel shook her head. "We need you on glee. We can't have you breaking ribs."

Quinn smiled at Rachel, a watery smile. She should have known that Rachel would understand and be fine with it. "I think you should sit down and talk to my dads."

Quinn nodded before pulling Rachel into a tight hug. "I'm hugging you now." She teased the brunette.

Quinn found herself on the Berry's front porch after cheerios practice, dressed back in the clothes that were slowly becoming her normal clothes. She knocked, waiting for someone to answer the door. A small smile crossed her face when Hiram answered the door.

"Rachel, honey, a strapping young suitor is here for you!" He called up the stairs, not even letting Quinn say anything. Her brow furrowed as she looked up at him. Did he not even recognize her? They lived together for many months.

"A boy at the door for me? If it's Finn, tell him I am not interested in anything he has to say." Rachel called as she came down the stairs. "Quinn!" She called out when she saw who was at the door, running to Quinn for a hug. Quinn wrapped her up in a tight hug and gave Hiram a shy smile.

"Well I'll be. Took you long enough to figure this out, Quinn." He said with a small chuckle. "Leroy owes me twenty bucks. He said you'd figure it out in college." Hiram fist pumped, before heading into the kitchen to send his husband out to go and inspect Quinn.

"Only your fathers would take me being potentially trans and turn it into a bet. And make it seem like the most normal thing in the world." Quinn shook her head and kissed the top of Rachel's head. Things like this were normal for them. It was because they were best friends, and that's what best friends so, right? It's what Santana and Brittany do at any rate.

Quinn and Rachel made their way to the table, setting it together. Hiram had left the dishes out so they could set the table like they used to. Quinn walked a circle around it, setting the plates down, and Rachel walked a circle the other way, setting the cutlery. It never took them more than a minute like this, and it was never something they had to talk about either. They then took their seats across from one another, Quinn smiling at Rachel across the table.

"Do you know what they cooked, or were you banned from the kitchen so as to not burn water?" Quinn rested her chin on her hand, leaning on the table before Rachel leaned over to smack her arm.

"Table manners! And they are making lasagna. They know it is your favorite, and I told them I had a feeling you would be by for dinner tonight." Rachel gave Quinn a shy smile as she sat up in her chair a bit. That was when the Berry men came in, Hiram carrying a pitcher of something to drink, and Leroy carrying the lasagna. Hiram threw a hot pad town and Leroy set the tray full of pasta down on it, before cutting it. Rachel passed him a plate for him to serve, and they all just passed the plates around until everyone was served.

After everyone was served and had started to eat, Leroy spoke up. "So, Quinn, you finally figured it out? Man, I do owe Hiram twenty bucks."

Quinn choked on her bite of food. She took a drink and swallowed, before looking over at him. "I'm actually not sure. This is all sort of an adventure for me right now, and I am giving it a try before I decide on anything for certain. So…maybe you don't owe one another any money yet." Quinn let out a breath she didn't realize she was holding.

"Dad, Daddy, we need to help Quinn find somewhere to get a binder. She's using ace bandages." Ever dramatic, the Berry men both gasped at Rachel's admission. "Well," said Hiram, "Lucky you, we know a sex shop in Columbus that sells them. Leroy and I could stand to go for a visit there." He wiggled his eyebrows at his husband. "You two aren't old enough to go, but we would be happy to pick one up for you." He said, looking Quinn in the eye. "We can go tonight so you have it for tomorrow?" He offered, smiling when he saw Quinn's eyes light up. "Sorted. We are taking a field trip to Columbus tonight."

"All of us, or just you two?" Rachel asked, her eyes lighting up as well. "Because Quinn and I could go to the mall and we could get some more clothes for Quinn to help him pass better!" Rachel said excitedly. Quinn's smile only got wider when she realized Rachel had called her _he,_ whether it was on purpose or not.


	5. Chapter 5

About an hour and a half later, Quinn found herself packed into the back of the Berry's car, her duffle bag in the trunk. Her backpack was jammed between her feet, though, because she did have some homework she had to finish, or at least pretend to try and get done. Somehow, working was easier with Rachel humming in her ear.

Every so often, Rachel would lean over with Quinn's iPhone in her hand, showing Quinn a few outfit combinations and saving the pictures afterwards. Quinn could care less what Rachel picked, because she knew Rachel wouldn't let her walk around looking like an idiot. Everyone makes fun of Rachel's style of dress, but in reality, she didn't dress too badly. She just had things she liked together, regardless of how they looked together.

Quinn was balancing a chemistry equation, balancing her notebook in her lap, a pencil in her hand, and a calculator in the other. It was quite the sight to see, seeing the tall blonde jammed into the back seat, craned over the notebook. Rachel smiled as she looked over at Quinn and snapped a few pictures, wanting to keep the pictures – she claimed it was to document their trip. At least, that's how she tried to justify it to herself. Quinn jammed the pencil behind her ear before running a frustrated hand through her hair.

"Rachel, did you do the chemistry homework yet?" She asked, sitting up and turning to Rachel as she set the calculator down between them.

"Yeah, why?" Rachel asked, still flipping through pictures and saving them to Quinn's phone.

"I'm stuck on this equation, even though it seems so simple." Quinn said with a sigh, leaning in towards Rachel. Rachel leaned over, and there were only a few inches between their noses as they poured over Quinn's notes.

"It's because you forgot something." Rachel said softly, looking at Quinn and grabbing the pencil from behind her ear. She scribbled down another letter before handing Quinn back the pencil. "You copied the notes down wrong. Do you want me to check that you did everything else right?" Rachel asked quietly, scanning the page. She knew Quinn would say yes, so before the blonde even finished nodding, she had taken the notebook and was scanning through the rest of the notes. She added a subscript to another equation, but that was the only other issue that was in the notes.

Quinn smiled and shook her head, looking over the notes again. "I appreciate you so much, Rachel." Quinn said quietly, putting the notebook and the rest of her supplies away. "So, what have you been up to on my phone for the past hour?" Quinn had given Rachel her phone, knowing she could trust the brunette with it. She had nothing to hide from her, but even if she did, she knew Rachel would not check it.

"Oh, Quinn! I've been looking at all of these pictures on pinterest and imugr or whatever that website is. I just searched cute boys, and suddenly they came up with so many clothing choices." She started to flip through the pictures she had saved to the phone. "I saved ones that looked like they would be super compatible with your skin tone and hair color; although I think you could also look good in something like maroon if you wanted too." Quinn smiled at Rachel; no longer looking at the clothes she was being shown.

"So what I'm hearing is 'Quinn, hand me your credit card when we get there, and I will make you a sexy young man.'" Quinn winked at Rachel, but failed to notice the blush that stained the tan girl's cheeks.

"You don't really need me for that. You're already off to a great start." She reached up and brushed the blonde's bangs out of her eyes. "But, maybe you should trim your bangs a little. Right now, you have this cute, boyish, Justin Bieber thing going on, when in reality, you could have a sexy, Adam Levine style thing going on if you were to spike it up."

"I'm worried about my hair line though. It's still rather feminine. Not to mention, if my hair is out of my face, I'm really worried people will finally recognize me." Quinn bit her lip, pushing her hair off her forehead. "Should we go to the mall barber shop then as well?" Quinn was a bit nervous, and Rachel could tell, so she took the blonde's hand.

"We don't have to do anything you don't want to do, Quinn." Rachel said softly, tucking some of Quinn's hair behind her ear. "I'm with you every step of the way, and I won't pressure you to do anything you aren't comfortable with, or anything you are comfortable with."

All Quinn could do is hug Rachel. She couldn't ask for a better best friend.

Once they got there, Quinn walked straight to the barbershop and stood outside of it, shuffling awkwardly back and forth on her feet. She licked her lips, staring at the sign which listed the haircut prices.

"I'm nervous, Rachel. I don't even know what to ask for for a haircut." She finally broke her eye contact with the sign, looking over at Rachel.

"Lucky for you, I started looking up potential haircuts for you." Rachel still had Quinn's phone, so she dug it out, flipping through pictures for Quinn.

"This one." Quinn said softly on about the 7th picture Rachel showed her. "I like it. It looks like I could put it up with gel if I wanted, or I could wear it down. It would be out of my eyes for sports, and my glasses would actually stay clean." Quinn was trying to rationalize her choice to Rachel, but Rachel didn't need any rationalization.

"Quinn, you don't need to explain anything to me. If you want the haircut, then that's the one you get." She shrugged a little, taking Quinn's hand and pulling her into the barbershop. "Just show them the picture, and they will cut it that way. My dads do it all the time." She dropped Quinn's hand and handed her the phone, before taking a seat. She cracked open the book she carried in her purse, getting lost in the pages while Quinn was off getting her hair cut.

She looked up when beat up converse appeared in her line of sight, and gasped audibly when she saw Quinn's face. She quickly put away her book, rising to her feet and taking Quinn's face in her hands. "You're so handsome, Quinn." She said quietly, probably the most quietly she had ever heard Rachel speak in her life. "This haircut is so becoming on you. You look…wow."

Quinn quirked her eyebrow, a small smile appearing on her face. "Is Rachel Barbra Berry actually speechless? I never thought the day would come."

Rachel shook her head, pulling back from Quinn and dropping her hands. "Every day with you, you render me speechless. You just don't know it." For some reason, this admission made Quinn's heart flutter.

"Rachel, I think I need the next size up." Quinn said sheepishly, stepping out of the changing room to show Rachel the shirt she had picked out. "Look at my chest. It's still so…frumpy?" Quinn asked, searching for a word to describe how it looked.

"No, it fits you so well everywhere else. With a proper binder, it will fit you so well." Rachel walked over to her, placing a hand on her chest. She was looking up at Quinn with a bright grin and a small blush on her cheeks.

Just then, an associate came over, seeing the two of them. "Hey, lovebirds, your boyfriend looks really nice in that shirt." Quinn's head snapped around to look at him, another blush staining her cheeks.

"I…we're not…I'm not…she's not…" Quinn couldn't form a sentence for the life of her, but at the same time, she did not pull back from Rachel.

"At any rate, I came to let you know that the store is closing soon, so if you want to buy anything, you may want to head to the check outs now." He gave them a dazzling grin, before heading out.

Quinn stepped back from Rachel, grabbing the pile of clothes. "Wrong pile, Quinn." Rachel said with a smile. "I never put away the rejects. Those are the ones that didn't look as nice on you. So, anything you're dead set on in that pile, put it on the other one. Otherwise, it's actually the pile on the left."

Quinn nodded and picked a couple of button down shirts out of the pile, putting them on the other one before grabbing the right pile. "I really liked this red shirt. It would look nice with some of the things you wear, if we ever had to match or something. It would also look nice with Santana's skin tone." Quinn looked away as she mentioned the Latina's name. She didn't feel like this was the kind of thing she should talk about with Rachel.

"Does she make you happy, Quinn? Does the thought of being with her make you happy?" Rachel asked, glancing over at Quinn as they walked to the checkout.

"I don't really know, Rachel. But, I'm giving it a try." Quinn licked her lips, setting the clothes on the counter and digging out her card to pay for the clothes. "What am I wearing tomorrow?" Quinn glanced over at Rachel.

"The purple one." Rachel told her quietly, grabbing the bag of clothes once it was paid for. "With your black tennis shoes and some khakis." She wrapped her arm around Quinn's, leading them out of the store and to meet up with her fathers outside of the mall.

The next day, Quinn went to school dressed just like Rachel told her, with the binder that the Berry men had picked up for her. The only thing she wore that no one expected her to was a bright smile. She walked up to Rachel, pulling her to the side. "Thank you. I feel...I feel so amazing. And…shockingly right."

"I'm really glad to hear it, Quinn!" Rachel said, pulling Quinn into a hug.

"I have a large favor to ask of you though." Quinn trailed off, scratching nervously at her neck.

"Anything for you, Quinn."

Quinn swallowed thickly, looking Rachel in the eye. "Can we start using the pronouns he/him/his for me?"


	6. Chapter 6

Rachel sat there slack jawed and dumbfounded for a minute before nodding. "Of course, Quinn. That's not a big favor at all. I thought you needed me to take a slushy to the face for you or something." Rachel said with a half smile, knowing that she hasn't been slushied in about a year now. She was trying to make light of the situation. "Are you still going by Quinn? It's a unisex name, and I think you could actually make it quite masculine," Rachel mumbled quietly, resting a hand on Quinn's chest. "You really do clean up nice, Quinn."

Right as Quinn opened his mouth to respond to Rachel, he was swept aside by Santana, who pulled him into a kiss. He was shocked to say the least, given they had never kissed. He pulled back quickly, staring at Santana with a bewildered look. "Where the hell did that come from? Good morning to you too…" Quinn mumbled, backing away from Santana.

Rachel was fuming; of course she wouldn't say anything. She only wanted Quinn to be happy. This was a new feeling for her – when she was dating Finn, she only wanted to be with Finn, whatever the cost, even Quinn's happiness. Putting Quinn's happiness first, however, was something that was entirely new to her. As new as the feeling was though, it was also welcomed.

Quinn was digging through his locker to find his books, and Rachel was watching as his arms flexed under the weight of his history book. Quinn had always been toned, and with his shirt rolled up to his elbows, it put his strong forearms on display. She subconsciously licked her lips, wanting nothing more than to reach out and touch his arm, and trace the muscle with her finger.

Her eyes moved to watch his face, and she wanted nothing more than to laugh. Santana was talking to Quinn about something or another, but Rachel could tell by the look on his face that he wasn't listening to a word she said. He tucked another book in his messenger bag, before leaning against the locker next to his, looking at Santana with a bored look.

"Are you ready to go to class?" He interrupted her, before pushing off of the locker, turning to his own to shut it. He didn't really wait for a response from Santana before heading in the direction of the class. He was mildly annoyed that she kissed him without his consent, to say the least. And to top it all off, he hadn't even enjoyed the kiss. It only upset him more to think that the first time she kissed him was in front of the whole school, and more importantly, in front of Rachel.

Quinn settled into his desk in class, and he pulled out a notebook. He glanced over at Rachel, who sat next to him at the lab table. He was scribbling down the title of the lesson. "How did you copy down the equation right, but I copied it down wrong?" He was teasing a little, trying to lighten the mood. "I thought I was the shoe in for valedictorian, not you." He bumped his shoulder against Rachel's, getting a smile from the brunette.

"Maybe because I am just magical." Rachel said with a smirk, reaching over to draw a star on Quinn's notes.

"Stars have always been your thing, haven't they?" Quinn inquired affectionately, running a finger over the lines of the star, from the bottom left point to the top, bottom right across to the left point, straight across to the right, and back down to the bottom left point. He traced this a few times, waiting for the lecture to start. With each completion of the circuit, his smile got just a bit bigger.

After the school day ended, Quinn made his way to one of the single stall bathrooms, changing into his cheerios uniform. He slicked his hair down, trying to make it look a bit more feminine, before popping his contact lenses in his eyes. He bit his lip, blinking away the tears at how he looked. He didn't like how effeminate he had to look. He set his jaw and made his way onto the field, a fierce look on his face. Either way, he was Quinn Fabray, and Quinn Fabray has been and always will be the High Bitch in Charge at McKinley High. That honor will never go to Santana Lopez, unless that is a decision he makes.

Once he made it on the field, he saw Santana lick her lips and give him a once over. She seemed more attracted to him now than when they were a "couple" during the day.

"Where have you been, Quinn?" Brittany asked her, coming up behind her.

"I've been here, B, you just haven't been able to see me, I guess." Quinn shrugged, looking up at the taller girl. "How have you been, Britt? I haven't seen you in a while though." Quinn wrapped her up in a hug, standing on tiptoe to reach her neck properly.

"I've been alright. But lately, Santana doesn't seem to want to hang out with me anymore. We were so close this summer, but now she doesn't want to be with me." Quinn's face fell, and he looked away from Brittany. "She's dating that new boy here. They say he's from New Jersey, but no one has actually gotten to ask him yet." Brittany sighed, looking at her feet. "I just miss my friend." Quinn nodded, placing his hand on Brittany's shoulder.

"I'll talk to her, Britt. Don't worry." Quinn swallowed thickly, before starting their practice. After practice was over, Quinn went over to Santana.  
"Hey, San, can I get a ride home tonight?" He asked, picking up his duffel bag. "We need to talk. Brittany, she misses you and doesn't understand where you went."

"Yeah, I'll drive you home. Are you going to change before you go home? Because I would like to gets my mack on with my boyfriend, if you don't mind." Santana winked at Quinn, purposely side stepping the fact that Brittany misses her. Quinn just rolled his eyes and bade his way to the single stall bathroom to get changed again. Over his shoulder, he called out to Santana that he would meet her at her car.

Once they got settled into the car, Quinn decided to try and breach the subject again. "Look, San, she really misses you. She's not even bubbly anymore. What happened between you two this summer that would cause you to go running for the hills? The only thing you run from is….feelings." Quinn said slowly, all of it starting to make sense.

"I fell in love with her, okay, Q? I love her, but I am scared of what that means. She and I have been friends since we were in kindergarten, and now I am going to ruin everything with these stupid feelings. And I know the school won't take it well, and I know my Abuela won't take it any better. She raised me, Q. You know that." Santana's parents never were around much, mainly because they were both doctors. Both being doctors meant that while they were rich, they also spent a lot of long hours at the hospital, and when they weren't there, they were on call. As small of a town as Lima was, it seemed like the doctors Lopez were somehow always needed. That resulted in them pushing Santana off on her grandmother. She will still claim Lima Heights Adjacent even though she lived down the street from Quinn, because that's where her grandmother lived and if you asked her, that's where she grew up.

"Santana, you say that as if our school won't forget about you and Brittany as soon as they all find out I am trans." He shook his head, playing with his backpack strap. "I keep waiting for that shoe to drop. Rachel and her fathers went with me to get a binder yesterday, and with it on, I have never felt better in my life." Quinn admitted softly, glancing at the Latina.

"Look, we can't do this. You're in love with Brittany, and I am a mess myself." Quinn started off, licking his lips.

"Not to mention you're in love with the troll." Santana smirked, turning onto Quinn's street.

"Don't call her that." Was the first response out of Quinn's mouth. He didn't say anything else on the subject, because Santana pulled into his driveway. "Also, San, can we start using the pronouns he/him/his with me? I…I feel like it is the right next step for me."

Santana looked over at Quinn with a curious look on her face, but nodded. "Yeah. We can do that. You still going by Quinn?"

Quinn looked thoughtful for a minute before getting out of the car. He ducked down to talk to Santana. "I'm not quite sure yet." Quinn said quietly, before shutting the door and heading into his house.


	7. Chapter 7

The next day at school, Quinn and Santana walked into the building together, but not holding hands. Quinn had texted Santana last minute, asking her for a ride to school He had taken a bit too long getting ready today to actually get there on time on foot. Normally, he would walk to school from his mom's house, but today was an extenuating circumstance.

Quinn waved to Santana to say bye, before heading over to Rachel's locker. He was in one of the shirts that Rachel had decided wouldn't look as good on Quinn as the others. Rachel saw some beat up sneakers appear on the floor next to hers, so she looked up and away from her locker. "Good morning, Quinn." She had turned to face Quinn, and she went slack jawed. Never did she think Quinn Fabray could look so dashing. He had his hair spiked up, like the other days, and his glasses were perched on his nose. His sleeves were rolled to just below his elbows, covering the upper part of his forearm. His jeans fit him nicely, and somehow complimented his shirt beautifully. And to add to his attractiveness, he had a smirk on his face.

"If you take a picture, it'll last longer, Rach." He leaned against the locker next to hers, pulling her to face him by the hand. "So, I have some news for you." Quinn offered up, his smirk changing to a smile.

"Yeah? What's that, handsome?" Rachel asked, reaching up to fix one of the hairs that fell out of place.

"Oh, I'm single again. Last night, Santana and I talked, and concluded that we were both in it for the wrong reasons. She needs to come to terms with her feelings for Brittany, and I need to ease my way into living life at McKinley as a man without using her as a crutch."

Rachel nodded, a smile forming on her face as well. "I'm proud of you two for making such a grown up decision."

She could hardly finish saying the word decision when Finn came lumbering over, getting quite literally between Quinn and Rachel, because Quinn had taken a small step back.

"Rachel !" Finn said excitedly, waving with the hand that wasn't holding the lone backpack strap he was wearing. "So, listen. I was hoping that you would maybe be interested in dinner at Breadstix with me tonight?" He had a dopey grin on his face, and he had effectively cut off Quinn's view of Rachel.

Quinn moved to step back around him, facing him. He knew Finn was too dense to figure out that it was him anyway. "Listen here, Bigfoot, but here's something you need to realize. You and Rachel are over, and have been over for about a year now." He quirked an eyebrow at Finn. "Furthermore, Breadstix has not a single vegan item on the menu. Even the salad has cheese on it. What would she eat, water? She deserves better than you anyway." Quinn pushed Finn back softly by the chest, before turning to Rachel. "I'll see you in class."

He made his way to his locker, putting some books away and digging out others. He was on an adrenaline rush, and also in slight disbelief that he did that. He knew that Rachel could defend herself, but for some reason, he still felt the need to defend her himself instead. Shutting his locker, he made his way to class, sitting next to Rachel at their lab table.

"How did that conversation go after I walked away?" Quinn asked quietly, doodling in his notebook after writing the lesson title down.

"He accused me of dating you, and wondered what it was about you that had me so enthralled. I told him it's that you actually listen to me." Rachel shrugged, doodling with Quinn again.

"So, let me get this straight. Finn thinks you and I are dating, because I stood up for you?" He shook his head, blushing while he drew a heart. He looked away a minute, and when he looked back, there was a Q and an R written in the heart. "Something you want to tell me?" Quinn smirked, pointing to the heart.

"Apparently, but we all know Finn really isn't the brightest student we have here at McKinley. And it's nothing." Rachel said defensively, drawing yet another star on the page.

"Rachel, you can't just draw that an-"

"Alright class, we are going to begin now. Everyone turn your books to chapter 3…" Quinn would never understand why they used a chemistry book in tandem with the notes, especially given they never actually learned anything in class. Once again, he found himself tracing the star when he got bored, his mind unable to think of anything other than the brunette sitting next to him.

The rest of the day was rather uneventful until cheerleading practice. Today, he went into the bathroom to change, but instead came out of the bathroom dressed the same way as when he came in. His feet took him to the next logical place he could go. He looked up, seeing "Coach Sue Sylvester" written across the door in front of him. He turned the knob, taking a deep breath.

"Coach?"

"Q, took you long enough to come and find me. I'm surprised you flew under the radar so long. It's been what, three, four days?" She turned around in her chair, finally facing Quinn. "So, I'll take the uniforms back, and we can have friendly exchange yet. Santana can fill your position."

"You…you knew?" Quinn asked, shocked. He dug his uniforms out, setting them on her desk. "I barely knew myself, but I know being the female head cheerleader is really not the answer for me, and I am not about to be our first male one." Quinn swallowed thickly, nodding and looking at his feet.

"Q, you're like a kid to me. I would say a daughter, but I know that's not right. And I don't quite know if son is the label you would want, so, kid it is for now. That being said, I just want you to be happy. Santana can lead us to nationals too. I'm not worried." Sue Sylvester actually smiled at Quinn.

He leaned over her desk, offering his hand. She shook it, before squirting some hand sanitizer on her hand. "Now get out of here, you're covered in Troll germs."


	8. Chapter 8

Author's Note: Hey, all of my lovely story readers. I was trying to keep the professional façade by not talking to y'all, but life got real messy moving back to college and I felt I owed an explanation into my absence. I had to move in, get settled, and help others move in. I'll crank out more as often as I can. Also, thank you for all of the reviews! Y'all have been nothing but great, and I so appreciate every last one of you.

Quinn swallowed thickly, his hand raised, poised to knock at the Berry men's door for about five minutes now. Every so often he would stop what he was doing to run his fingers through his hair, or check his clothes looked okay. He was fidgeting nervously.

He wasn't nervous to see Rachel, but he was nervous to give her his news, which was about the cheerios. He was also nervous about seeing the Berry men for the first time now that he had a proper binder and was actually putting some effort into his appearance.

Right as he moved to knock, he found himself knocking on thin air as the door disappeared from in front of him and Leroy opened the door. Quinn ducked his head with a sheepish grin as Leroy pulled him into a hug. "Don't you just look so cute, I could eat you up!" Leroy told him, letting go and sending him in the house. "Hiram, my darling, you have to see Quinn! He looks like you did when you were younger, but better dressed. Actually, he looks nothing like you at all." Leroy smirked, waiting for his husband's reply.

"Hardee har har," came the reply from Hiram as he dried his hands on a towel, coming from the kitchen. "Although you do look dapper, Quinn, I think my husband needs to remember that we went to high school in the 70's, so a Jewfro was decently fashionable back then." He bumped his hip against Leroy's, and gestured up the stairs. "Go hang out with Rachel. Dinner will be done in about half an hour." He then pulled his husband back into the kitchen, wanting to resume their little dance party now that Leroy had tended to the fact that he noticed Quinn shuffling in front of the door about ten minutes prior.

Quinn made his way up to Rachel's room, not hearing any sound from the other side of her door. It would have concerned him, but he remembered that her room was soundproofed because the neighbors had filed a few too many noise complaints. The Berry's all insisted that it wasn't their faults that they don't have proper taste in music and recognize a rising star.

Quinn raised his hand to knock, this time following through with the action on the first try. Rachel opened the door, probably asking who was there beforehand, but Quinn couldn't hear her anyway. She was out of breath and in a tank top and some short shorts and trainers. Her skin had a thin sheen of sweat, and her hair was pulled into a ponytail, pulled over her right shoulder. Quinn licked his lips subconsciously, taking in how someone who is five foot two could have legs that go on for miles. "Quinn! I didn't think I would be seeing you tonight, and if so, not so soon. My dads actually started cooking dinner later on the off chance you come by after practice." Rachel opened the door further and walked to her dresser, digging out some clothes to change into.

"I actually handed in my uniform today. I liked cheerleading, and I liked being popular, but I don't like how I feel in the uniform," Quinn walked to Rachel's bed, setting his backpack down next to it before sitting down. "I always felt like less of a person in uniform. I thought it was just the feeling of being objectified in the uniform and all of the staring, and needing to be perfect looking in it. But in reality, the few days I spent on the squad this year taught me that it's how short the skirt is. That it's actually a skirt I'm wearing, that I can feel all the…" Quinn trailed off, gesturing in front of his chest, "bits and pieces I am so uncomfortable with, all of them bouncing around." He blushed profusely at the thought of his anatomy. "So, I turned in my uniform. Coach was waiting for me. She knew. And she was…surprisingly okay with it." Quinn licked his lips again, looking at Rachel.

Rachel was looking at him with a look of pride. She walked over to Quinn, kneeling on the floor in front of his feet and taking his face in her hands. "Quinn, you are so strong and I am so proud of you. I know that had to be hard for you." She kissed his forehead before grabbing her clothes and making her way to the bathroom.

"I appreciate you listening, Rachel. It means a lot. Also dinner is in like 15 minutes!" He knew it was really in about 25, but he also knew that if he didn't tell Rachel a significantly shorter time, she wouldn't be down in time for Kiddush and Hamotzi, which are the two most important parts of a Sabbath meal, and Hiram wouldn't let anyone eat until they could all actually break bread together. And to be quite honest, Quinn was quite hungry.

Quinn did his homework while he waited for Rachel to come back, but after two assignments, she wasn't back. He also couldn't shake the feeling that Rachel was staring into his soul when she held his face earlier, and he couldn't kick the feeling of wanting nothing more than to kiss her when she did that. He left his open assignment on her desk, heading downstairs to set the table for them all. He did his and Rachel's parts, looking for something to do. He also poured the glasses of wine, not much for him and Rachel, but a full glass for both of her fathers.

Sabbath dinners at the Berry home were one of Quinn's favorite times to be at Rachel's house. Quinn's mom knew he would never be home for a Friday dinner, because the Berry's always wanted Quinn there.

He took his seat while waiting for Rachel to come down, and when she finally did, he gasped audibly. She was in a white dress that came just to her knee, and a light gray cardigan. It was perfectly modest, but also looked so nice on her all at once. She had braided her hair over her shoulder again. "Hadass. You look more beautiful than Hadass." Quinn finally said, his voice sounding almost strained. He couldn't take his eyes off of Rachel.

He knew she would know what he meant though. Hadass was the woman Yentl married in the movie Yentl. She was the most beautiful woman in the village, and no one seemed to notice much else about her until after Yentl/Anshel had married her. And now, Quinn was just shocked at how beautiful Rachel looked. He didn't quite know when he started to see Rachel in this light, but now he couldn't stop it. He was so caught up in Rachel that when everything else for the Sabbath meal filled in, he didn't even notice. Not until he found himself standing for Kiddush, mumbling "amein" every so often when he was supposed to. After the final amein, he drank his bit of wine, before going to wash his hands the way he was supposed to. All of these things he was doing weren't part of his religion, but they felt so natural to him.

After the hand washing, they had to stay silent until Hiram broke bread and passed each of them a salted piece. He once told Quinn that the salt was because salt never spoils like G-d's covenant with the Jewish people, and also because of the tears they wept while in slavery. Either way, he thought the challah tasted better salted. He watched Rachel with a smile; she looked like she was going to burst, waiting for the opportunity to talk again.

Once they all ate a bite of bread, the silence was broken, and Rachel went on to tell her fathers all about her day, including how Quinn had actually rescued her from Finn earlier, and accused them of dating.

"You could bring home far worse boys though, Rach. I mean, Quinn even sits nicely so you don't get tempted to talk before we all eat the challah. And he listens to and supports you. He's far better for you than Finn ever could be." Quinn choked on his challah which was covered in hummus. He thumped his chest, waving that he was alright while he caught his breath.

"While you aren't wrong, I doubt that will ever happen." She sounded a bit sad. She met Quinn's eyes, and both of their faces flushed.

"Never say never, Rachel." Quinn said quietly, before taking a large drink of his water.

The table at the Berry home went silent for a good few minutes after that admission.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Quinn's leg bounced up and down for a steady pace for a good five minutes, syncopated with his accelerated heartbeat as he sat in the waiting room. A small, tan hand made its way onto his knee in an attempt to comfort him. His knee and the hand bounced in sync for another thirty seconds, before his weight shifted closer to the body of the person whose hand it was, and he took a deep breath.

Rachel was always one for words, but today, and lately with Quinn in general, she knew to sit in silence. He would fill in the silence with the things and the words he needed. She could answer anything she needed to say to him with a simple touch or gesture; this was out of character for her, but it she has never felt better about her communication with someone – and this was all being done without words; there's a first time for everything.

Quinn rested his head on Rachel's shoulder, nuzzling her neck with his nose. Touches like these have become far more regular between them, with people no longer giving them strange looks or quirking eyebrows. Quinn was starting to wonder why he couldn't think straight around Rachel, and why his palms were always sweaty.

He saw Rachel in school before tests and on their way to therapy, which is where they were right now. Rachel refuses to let Quinn go alone, and today is supposed to be a monumental day for him. He attributed his butterflies to the impending letter his therapist was waiting to give him. Whether he believed that or not was still up for debate. In the mean time, it didn't matter because the nurse just called for Quinn Fabray.

Quinn reached for Rachel's hand, squeezing it gently and giving her a bright smile before going through the door. To receive his letter, as it is affectionately called, he had to tell his therapist about his sexuality, romantic relationships, family situation, and support systems. If Rachel's name didn't make it into this letter, he would be shocked; he said her name almost as often as he uttered the word "the" now.

He sat down in the chair he always sat in, licking his lips nervously. "Are you ready to read what I wrote, Quinn?" The therapist asked him, the three page long letter in his hand, waiting to pass it off to Quinn. The blonde was quite fond of his therapist, who reminded him of Hiram. His therapist is a gay Jewish man who acts like a Jewish grandmother, chastising Quinn for not wearing a scarf in fifty degree weather.

Quinn nodded eagerly, holding out his hand. Once he read it through, he looked up at his therapist with a bright smile. "I don't see how my sexuality is relevant, but I don't even care that much because we sign what, two papers, and I can get the medicine from the doctor?"

The therapist nodded, unable to fight back a grin. Quinn's was infectious. "It's an antiquated process, but some people find their sexuality changes once they start gender affirming hormones. One of my patients ended up identifying as gay once he started." The therapist shrugged, scribbling his signature down on the papers before dating them.

He handed them off to Quinn, watching as the blonde eagerly signed them all. "I can't wait to show Rachel. She's been my biggest support system, and I don't know where I would be without her and her fathers. They really were the ones to help me sort all of this out." Quinn felt a blush stain his cheeks, realizing how much he truly owed to the Berry men. Many a Shabbat dinners were spent with Quinn at the table, and spending the night after so he could go with to the synagogue in the morning. Every morning he spent the night, he woke to find himself tangled up in Rachel, and he only knew that it felt good.

"I think you should write them a letter expressing your gratitude, and explaining what their support meant to you. I think that tangible proof for them would be something they would hold onto. They might even frame it, from what you've told me." Quinn smiled at that, knowing he characterized the two of them perfectly to his therapist if this man who never met them could assume that. "We should cut our session short today to make sure we get all of the documents scanned, copied, and sent." The therapist stood, making his way to the door to open it for Quinn.

It was too soon. The door opened too soon. Rachel's head snapped up from the little yarmulke she was working on crocheting for Quinn. He had been so involved in the synagogue, but didn't have a yarmulke of his own. Rachel could tell he wanted one, and she knew olive green would match his eyes so well. She was almost done with this, and she had intended to have it done for him by the time his session was over.

She did not expect him to be walking out so soon. Her breath hitched as he walked across the room without looking at her, a very serious look on his face. She could only assume the worst – Quinn didn't qualify for testosterone. She crocheted faster, trying desperately to at least have the yarmulke done to give him something to be happy about if his session went poorly.

She finished the small hat within minutes, it being a larger variation of the types typically worn. She noticed Quinn seemed to like the ones that covered most of his head – they stay on his head without bobby pins, and watching him hold it while he ran to catch up to the rabbi to ask questions was one of the most endearing things she had ever seen.

She fidgeted with the green piece of fabric in her hands, looking down at the ground when a scuffed pair of converse bouncing on their toes appeared in front of her feet. She looked up, her face completely neutral to gauge Quinn's reaction, but tears welled up in her eyes when she saw the bright smile on his face. She leapt to her feet, wrapping her arms around his neck and resting her forehead against his. "You did it, I see." She whispered, her breath hitting his lips. His hands found their way to her waist, pulling her closer.

"I did. My doctor's appointment is on Friday, before we have Shabbat dinner. I'll have to ask the rabbi for a blessing over a joyous occasion." Quinn said quietly, reaching a hand up to wipe the happy tear that was rolling down Rachel's cheek.

"He will have you say shehecheyanu." She giggled, playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. "It's a prayer that thanks G-d for sustaining us and bringing us to the time, for which we are thanking Him. I'm calling it now." She reached a hand around to brush some hair from his eyes after pulling back to look at him. "I can't imagine you with soft peach fuzz growing from where your hairline ends quite yet." She gave him a soft smile, showing him she was ready to see the changes. "And your voice is so raspy, you'll sound like Morgan Freeman within a month." She giggled, pulling back to grab her bag from the floor. She grabbed the yarmulke she had dropped in her excitement and kissed it before holding it out to Quinn.

"I made you this. Now you have your own for when we are at shul – you don't have to borrow one anymore, and it's the size I noticed you liking." She ducked her head, a hot blush staining her cheeks. He reached for her hand, bringing it to his lips and placing a kiss on the back of it.

"It couldn't be more perfect, Rach." He gave her a bright smile before linking their fingers and leading her out of the building.


End file.
